i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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