did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
