Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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