What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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