pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
