they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
