If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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