hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
