I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
