P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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