Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
