How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
