He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
