Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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