I want to stick my p in your. b.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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