she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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