Yo dont text me then not text me
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
