video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
