So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
