thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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