11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
