): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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