Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
