marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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