Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
