oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
