What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
