I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
