How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
