Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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