so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
