i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
