just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize