Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
