I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
