You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
