guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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