If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
