This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I have fence marks all over my body
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
