there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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