i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
