One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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