Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
