you win again, gameday.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
