He asked to "fluff my boner.."
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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