Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
