Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
