I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
