I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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