She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
