So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
